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Feelings…

In questo momento sto provando un odio generalizzato e diffuso…
Sono stato ingiustamente colpevolizzato… Sono incapace di provare odio per lungo tempo, la vita e’ troppo breve per sprecare occasioni, incontri, dialoghi.
Oltretutto non riesco neanche a esprimere apertamente, sono stato educato ad essere morigerato nelle mie espressioni. Mi tengo tutto dentro finche’ esplode.

Sfortunatamente non posso esplodere finche’ sono in occasioni formali, ad esempio sul posto di lavoro: in questi casi preferisco evitare il confronto sbattendo la porta (anche metaforicamente, ad esempio spegnendo il cellulare e tenendolo spento per ore dopo una conversazione sgradevole).

Beh… ora e’ esploso: come una bomba nucleare ha un raggio ampio e colpisce chiunque sia nell’area…
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Alla fine dopo una lunghissima chiaccherata di sfogo e cazzate, tutto l’odio e’ passato, lasciato alle spalle. E mi sono reso conto che non era odio, era semplicemente frustrazione. Piu’ parole e meno seghe mentali. Me lo devo tatuare.

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Siate affamati, siate assurdi!

Steve Jobs fa un discorso ai laureati di stanford. Ed e’ un discorso fatto con il cuore, che tocca vari argomenti e merita di essere letto.

‘You’ve got to find what you love,’ Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation – the Macintosh – a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Andate qua se avete problemi con l’inglese.

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Ed e’ guerra!

Finalmente! Finalmente !
E’ sera, sono spariti l’azzurro del cielo e il giallo di un sole spietato come non si vedeva da anni.
Guardo fuori e vedo solo bianco, grigio, sepia.
Vedo eserciti d’acqua minacciosi schierarsi per la grande battaglia che avverra’ in aria.
Sento un vento carico di minaccie lambirmi la pelle,resa rovente da troppi giorni di arsura spietata.
Alle mie orecchie giunge il suono di molte “veneziane”, quasi un concerto di serpenti a sonagli.
Forse, tra non molto, saette luminose e potenti solcheranno il cielo, inequivocabili segnali dell’inizio delle ostilita’.

La terra ha sete. Per una volta non e’ sangue che verra’ versato, ma preziosa acqua.
Che lo scontro abbia inizio…

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La giornata comincia solo a quest’ora

…quando i miei colleghi vanno a far colazione e io metto un disco di musica tostissima a volume smodatamente alto.

Oggi per esempio, si inizia con BATTERY dei Metallica, presa direttamente da un Master of Puppets originale che reca su di se notevoli abrasioni.
Non e’ che con i cd ci masturbiamo, e’ semplicemente l’usura del tempo 🙂

BATTERY!!!!!

Gente, qua si muore dal caldo, scusate l’ovvietà . Invidio Kiara che dice di andare presto (di nuovo) in barca. Kiara, portaci un po’ di vento quando torni 8)
Ho voglia di iperbole: ieri stavo per affogare in una pozza del mio sudore. Ogni cosa sembra cosparsa meticolosamente di melassa tanto e’ appiccicosa. L’aria e’ cosi’ ferma che le onde sonore dello stereo dell’ufficio a confronto sembrano l’uragano jessica. (non so se c’e’ stato un uragano del genere, ma basta citare un nome adeguato a caso. Sicuramente non ci sara’ mai un uragano erminia o flavia o licia).

Intanto vi invito a seguire le prime vicissitudini di drakesky che si scontra con le abitutidini teutoniche, mentre fa il suo “stage” al Forzendrumdrungzung di Karlsrhue. (che poi e’ un modo per dire “centro di ricerca dell’energia fotoatomica” ne sono sicuro!).
Una cosa che la draghetta non ci ha detto ancora e’ : che temperatura c’e’ ? in gradi celsius per favore 8)

Nel frattempo che scrivevo e’ iniziata “Master of puppets”, per cui mi concedo qualche minuto di ascolto prima della solita, inevitabile, insopportabile, riunione…

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Claim your wings

Considerato il fumetto che faccio con Snaga (Unchained, nei link sotto), questa similitudine non mi stupisce!

fallen2
Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another – possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn’t
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.

Image is a painting by Natalya Nesterova,
source:ca80.lehman.cuny.edu/…/
images/fallen_angel.jpg

*~*~*Claim Your Wings – Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

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the World is my home

You belong to the world of knowledge-seekers
You belong somewhere out in the world, exploring
and learning and spreading the knowledge that
you find. When you love, that love will join
you in your quest and believe as you do in a
world of spiritual energy that is stronger than
anything humanity could normally even conceive,
although you may be able to. Council those you
encounter, give them your wisdom, and stay true
to yourself.

Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla

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The dreamer

You Are A Changeling
Take the World of Darkness Quiz
by David J Rust

Il risultato del test riflette il mio mood attuale:
Vampire Score: 7 WereWolf Score: -7 Mage Score: -1 Wraith Score: 4 Changeling Score: 11

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Usare un blog per la pubblicita’

E perche’ no ? Magari trovate pure qualcosa che vi serve. Appena arrivano offerte di Amazon.fr ve le posto.

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Accadde oggi

1567 – Mary, Regina di Scozia, imprigionata a Lochleven prigione-Castello di Scozia
1784 – L’olanda proibisce il vestiario arancione
1842 – Natchex Mississippi, Colpita da un tornado; circa 500 vittime
1858 – Abraham Lincoln dice “A house divided against itself cannot stand”
1880 – Viene creato il Salvation Army a Londra
1882 – chicchi di grandine del diametro di 17″ pollici e del peso di 1.75 libbre cadono a dubuque Iowa
1896 – La temperatura raggiunge i 127à¸F (circa 52°) a Fort Mojave, California
1903 – Nasce la ditta Pepsi Cola
1904 – Bloomsday (James Joyce’s Ulysses)
1913 – Il parlamento Sud-Africano proibisce ai neri di possedere terre
1960 – “Psycho,” Viene proiettato per la prima volta a New york
1971 – Nasce il Digital Paladin
1974 – Homer Simpson and Marge Bouvier si sposano
1975 – Il PCI, vince (il partito comunista italiano, non il bus dati del computer)
1980 – “Blues Brothers,” viene proiettato a Chicago per la prima volta e…
1980 – La corte Suprema decreta che la vita creata in laboratorio puo’ essere brevettata
1991 – Boris Yeltsin eletto presidente dell’USSR

No, non sono pazzo, basta usare questo link!

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Super burp!

No, non e’ un eroe che emette rutti di magnitudo inusitata. E’ invece il mio commento alla magnata al messicano che ci siamo fatti venerdi’ sera!
– Aperitivo a base di Tequila sunrise Margarita Frozen
– Antipasto per 4: Guadalajara (mix di salse servite in coppe fatte di tacos, e coppa di formaggio fuso caldo con salsiccia piccante. Il tutto guarnito con copiose Chips di mais)
Qua poi le scelte si sono diversificate: io e nanni abbiamo preso una “Jumbo Gringo Fajitas”, ovvero una GROSSA teglia di carne di vitello e peperoni, grigliati a dovere, con contorno di fagioli neri, riso in bianco, tortillas. Abbiamo avuto seri problemi a terminarlo. Max e la ragazza di nanni hanno preso altri piatti, ma altrettanto soddisfatti.
– Dessert (io ho preso un taco dolce(!) con gelato, cioccolata calda e panna montata).
– Beveraggio: una brocca da un litro e mezzo di sangria e una bottiglia da un litro d’acqua
– tequila
– Mescal (preso con peperoncino e lime, non mi e’ piaciuto molto)

…35 euro… Non e’ poco, ma siamo usciti boccheggiando!
Se uno volesse spendere meno, basta limitare gli alcolici che sono quelli che fanno alzare il prezzo, e se la cava sui 25 euro… ma mangia da scoppiare!

Dove?
Al nuovo Malibu’: piu’ grande, con piu’ gente che ci lavora, atmosfera gradevole, ma sopratutto SPAZIOSO!!! Con la cucina che si ritrova, diventa il miglior messicano di Torino tout court, e non ci sono cazzi che tengano!
Ora e’ in Corso Regina 27.

Andateci!!!